


Letting Go

by sunhawk (sunhawkflamesprite)



Category: CSI: Miami
Genre: Angst and Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-15
Updated: 2006-04-15
Packaged: 2017-10-20 06:54:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/209970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunhawkflamesprite/pseuds/sunhawk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to "Losing Control", Eric brings Ryan home with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> This was written at the request of many fans who said they would like to see a sequel and also because i wanted to treat the bois real good for once ;) Thanks to my favourite beta raimm for helping me out ^_^

Eric kept one eye on his rear-view mirror the whole drive back to his apartment, worried that Ryan would succumb to second thoughts and flee. Eric himself was wondering what had possessed him to invite Ryan in; hitting the gay clubs and the occasional make-out in a secluded booth was one thing but it had been years since Eric had brought anyone home with him. Yet it felt right and Eric still trusted his instincts when it came to people. But to his relief, Ryan's black SUV dutifully followed him the whole way, though at a distance too far for Eric to see Ryan's expression.

Ryan parked neatly beside Eric's own SUV in the underground parking lot just as Eric was shutting the driver-side door and he couldn't help but smile at Ryan as the younger CSI nervously climbed out and took a look around. Gesturing grandly, Eric indicated where the elevator was located and let Ryan take the lead into the metal container when it arrived with a muffled "ding!" at their floor.

Ryan seemed content to stare at the floor, so Eric gave him a little space and they silently rose towards his apartment level. Whatever Ryan was thinking, Eric wanted to let him sort it out before he made his move...again. He looked over at Ryan, taking in his dark brown hair that was just starting to get shaggy, his clear eyes focused on the spot where the elevator walls and floor met with the intensity of a cat watching a mousehole. Another smile tugged at the corner of Eric's mouth and just at that moment Ryan seemed to realize he was being watched and looked up, meeting Eric's gaze and taking in his smile. Eric could literally see the gears in his head still running a mile a minute, then Ryan tentatively smiled back and shifted his weight in Eric's direction just as the elevator chugged to a stop. Impulsively, Eric grabbed Ryan's hand and practically dragged him through Eric's front door after the bare minimum of key jiggling.

"Welcome to my humble abode." Eric said and let go of Ryan's hand to take off his shoes. Gesturing for Ryan to wait a minute, Eric quickly snuck into his kitchen and made sure it wasn't a disaster area with a fast lookover. From the heated start they shared a hour ago, Eric found it funny that he was more concerned with making sure he hadn't left a sink full of dirty dishes in the kitchen than ripping Ryan's clothes off. He just didn't want to look like a slob, Eric told himself, and he knew it would bug Ryan to see such a mess, nothing special about not wanting that to happen. Satisfied that his place wouldn't embarress him, Eric walked back towards the front door to find only Ryan's shoes waiting for him, carefully tucked to the side.

To Eric's surprise, he found Ryan standing by his mantel, looking at the assortment of framed photos Eric had propped up on the mantel above the fake fireplace. Ryan was giving the pictures more than a cursory, polite glance; his expression was much more serious than Eric would have expected.

"Is this your family?" Ryan asked, his voice as strange as his expression. If Eric was better at reading Ryan, he might have thought Ryan sounded wistful.

"Yeah, it is." Eric replied, grinning at the photo Ryan was pointing at, of his family having a barbeque on the beach two years ago. He had no idea what had possessed him to buy those bright blue swimming trunks.

"Sisters, huh?" Ryan commented, sounding less serious and more amused. Eric chuckled and nodded a little sheepishly.

"Yup, they like to think they have me henpecked but I'm not as wrapped around their little fingers as they think I am. But you know how it is." Eric clapped Ryan on the back with a smile that invited him to share the joke. Ryan smiled back, yet it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Sure." He replied quietly. Before Eric could wonder about Ryan's reaction, the younger CSI had moved past the mantel and finished his exploration of Eric's living room. The way Ryan moved looked suspiciously similar to the way they investigated crime scenes and the fact that Ryan seemed to do it unconsciously was ..well.. kinda cute. Eric grinned again and let himself settle onto his favourite piece of furniture, his pride and joy: a big black leather couch, slightly over-stuffed and smooth as a dream.

"Does my place pass muster?" Eric teased. Ryan looked over at him in surprise, then looked back at the path he had taken around the room and blushed slightly. Eric patted the space beside him on the couch in a deceivingly-innocent gesture and Ryan smiled as he skirted around the coffee table towards him. But before the younger man could plant himself on the soft leather, Eric reached out to snag Ryan's wrist and smoothly pulled Ryan into his lap with barely a bounce. Ryan looked shocked for a long moment; his eyebrows high and green eyes wide. He sat unmoving for so long, looking so unsure of what to do, that Eric couldn't resist chuckling at his expression. Ryan jumped a little at the sound, then slowly relaxed, tentatively putting one hand on Eric's knee and the other in his own lap.

"Are you always this forward?" Ryan asked, bringing only one of his eyebrows back down.

"I like to call it 'being efficient'." Eric replied without losing his grin. Ryan's mouth flattened out into the peculiar unsmiling expression he got whenever he was deeply amused but was trying to not show it, his lips pressed together as if to prevent laughter from escaping. Eric thought it was so quintessential "Ryan Wolfe" that it delighted him to no end and his chuckles became full-fledged laughter. Ryan continued to look at him like he was crazy while Eric leaned his head against the back of the couch and laughed.

"Someone's in a good mood." Ryan remarked, smiling. Eric didn't reply but they both knew that it was the rush of relief that buoyed them, the sense of things finally going right between them. Having Ryan in his lap willingly, with no sense that he intended to move anytime soon, was enough in itself to make Eric feel giddy and confident, like he normally felt with all his conquests. But this wasn't just another one night stand, this was different. It didn't even have anything to do with sex. He needed to prove to Ryan that he could trust himself and what he wanted, and that he could trust Eric. Tonight was all about teaching Ryan how to let go.

"I'm not bothering you with my...efficiency, am I?" Eric asked, calming down for a moment, abruptly feeling a little bit guilty about not asking permission to just yank Ryan down. Ryan just gave him another "A few screws loose, Delko?" look and laughed, white teeth flashing.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?" Ryan replied, quirking an eyebrow at Eric. The Cuban took that as a good sign and maneuvered one of Ryan's knees to the other side of his lap so that Ryan was facing Eric, which Ryan allowed good-naturedly with some settling back a bit towards Eric's knees, like he was trying to keep his weight off of Eric. It was very considerate of Ryan but comfort was not really what Eric was after.

"Hey, you wouldn't be here if I didn't want you to be here." Eric retorted, grinning. Sharp green eyes twinkled at him as Ryan took in his confident declaration.

"Is this the famous Delko charm I'm seeing, that gets you so many ladies?" Ryan smirked.

"Men too, thank you very much." Eric pointed out, sensing that Ryan was still struggling to repaint his mental picture of his coworker who * _did_ * have a reputation as purely a ladies'-man. "The rumours are true, you know; we Cubans are unrivaled in our pursuit of passion in all its shapes and forms."

"You sound like a brochure." Ryan made a small face, mock-grimacing.

"What's it gonna to take to convince you I'm serious?" Eric teased, his hands already creeping their way slowly past Ryan's knees and advancing northward. Ryan's breathing hitched and his mouth fell open slightly.

"I-I don't know." He sounded slightly out of breath, stuttering a little as Eric distracted him from thinking properly. Eric's mouth quirked into that lazy grin, now tinged with lust, as he leisurely smoothed his palms around Ryan's slim hips. Once past the seam of Ryan's jeans, Eric switched from slow to quick and had his hands curved around Ryan's backside before the younger CSI could react and Eric was rewarded with a gasp from Ryan that left his mouth properly wide and temptingly wet. Eric gave into the temptation and pulled Ryan forward to join their lips together in a nice, long scorching kiss. Ryan's slender lips, soft with just the right hint of pouty, gave way beneath Eric's; their tongues tentatively meeting and twisting. While they kissed, Eric gave Ryan's backside a firm squeeze and his second reward was the sound of a shaky moan as Ryan sloppily broke their kiss and closed his eyes.

But Eric could still see Ryan holding back; his hands on either side of Eric on the couch shivered from the tension in Ryan's lean frame that spoke of repressed desire. Eric didn't know if it was Ryan's past that haunted him or merely inner demons he couldn't silence, but still Eric removed one of his hands from Ryan's waist to smooth away the crease in Ryan's brow with a gentle thumbtip. At his touch, Ryan's eyes opened again and Eric lost himself in the labyrinth of grey and green contracting wider as Ryan's pupil's shrank in the sudden light.

Ryan looked at him in disbelief and want, each emotion holding a precarious equilibrium in his gaze and Eric felt a little self-conscious. How long had Ryan wanted him and said nothing? How long had Eric been unwittingly teasing and tormenting this quiet CSI? Eric left his thumb slide down the side of Ryan's pale face until he was cupping the end of Ryan's jawbone in the palm of his hand.

"Do you want me, Ryan?" Eric quietly asked. Ryan's look turned into another silent reply, this time it was "What the hell do you think, Delko?" But Eric wasn't satisfied yet.

"Do you want to touch me, Ryan? Tell me." Eric spoke coaxingly, yet with a hint of demand. He wanted Ryan to say the words outloud, make them real. Ryan looked at him, opened his mouth and for a moment only air moved past his lips.

"I do." His voice was soft but there was no hesitancy to his words. "For a long time, I've wanted nothing more."

"Then what's stopping you?" Was Eric's final question, a grinning taunt. He purposely moved his arms away and back, simultaneously forcing Ryan to let go of the couch and offering himself up to his colleague with his head tilted back and arms wide on the back of the sofa. Ryan stumbled for a moment then put his arms on either side of Eric's ribcage, moving forward off of Eric's knees even more. Ryan blinked and looked uncertain, then he leaned forward for a soft kiss that ended with the ghosting of his lips along Eric's skin, moving to gently nip Eric's ear. Ryan then ducked his head and moved out of Eric's line of sight, due to the way the Cuban had his head back, yet Eric could hear the couch leather creak slightly and felt the tickling of Ryan's breath as his lower lip grazed Eric's neck, moving upward. The pressure of Ryan's lips increased and soon he was slowly sucking on Eric's skin in a way that had Eric's heartbeat making a rapid ascent. A moment later and the leather creaked again as one of Ryan's hands made its stealthy way to Eric's throat and slid up to caress the underside of Eric's jaw. Ryan's finger traced delicately along the rim of Eric's ear and threaded through Eric's hair as Ryan continued to explore the architecture of Eric's neck. When Ryan's mouth met the sharp edge of Eric's collarbone, a gasp escaped Eric and he moved the hand on the outside of Ryan's free arm to cup the back of Ryan's head.

As Ryan nuzzled under Eric's jaw, Eric's hand moved along Ryan's muscled shoulder and down to his bicep, squeezing gently as the Cuban moaned softly. He had no idea that Ryan was so skilled with his mouth; it was a crime that Ryan had been forced to keep this secret to himself for so long. While Eric had acknowledged his attraction towards Ryan on an intellectual level, having Ryan's lean and aggressively fit body so close was surprisingly addictive. His hands moved of their own accord back up Ryan's arms, reveling in the warmth of Ryan coming through his cotton shirt which flattered the planes of Ryan's broad shoulders. He made his own investigation of Ryan's hair, his fingertips slipping through the strands to meet at the base of Ryan's neck, massaging and kneading the tendons that he could slowly feel relaxing. Eric could sense Ryan losing some of his self-consciousness, exhaling against Eric's neck and tilting his head like a cat wanting its ears scratched. The image brought a smile to Eric's lips and he lightened his touch as he mirrored Ryan's earlier exploration of his ear but with both hands, unsure why he had never noticed how elegant the outside shell of the ear could be.

Ryan seemed dazed by Eric's featherlight caressing, his own hand paused and a baritone hum of appreciation replacing his kisses as he tucked his face into the crook of Eric's neck, and Eric could easily imagine Ryan's eyes closed with his long lashes against his pale cheeks. Delighting in Ryan's sensual side, Eric hands continued moving between Ryan's ears and the nape of his neck, and was soon rewarded by Ryan's further relaxation. Then the arm that Ryan had used to keep himself braced upright seemed to suddenly give way and their two bodies were abruptly flush tight against each other. This brought Ryan's arousal into unavoidable contact with Eric's and the younger CSI once again lost all the air his lungs contained in a startled gasp. That gasp quickly turned into a hot moan, his hips moving unconsciously in a way that was unbelieveably wanton, especially coming from someone has reserved as Ryan. Bringing out this side of Ryan was almost as intoxicating as the feel of Ryan's hardness through the rough denim they both wore, as Ryan finished grinding his hips into Eric's.

Both men fought to catch their breath, with Ryan curled up on Eric's chest and Eric found his arms snug around Ryan's waist.

"Oh god," Ryan whispered and Eric silently echoed his sentiments, stunned by how turned on he was by this most casual of making-outs.

"If this is what you do to me fully-clothed, I'm almost afraid to get you naked." Eric murmured in Ryan's hair, and Ryan let out a slightly startled chuckle in response.

"If our clothes don't catch fire first." Ryan deadpanned and now it was Eric's turn to laugh. Ryan lifted his head from Eric's chest and Eric's laughter faded as they shared a solemn look. Eric didn't know what Ryan saw on his face but he drank in the sight of Ryan's unguarded and unwary expression, the soft smile on his face with no hint of his earlier self-consciousness and self-doubt. Eric wondered how many people had been lucky enough to see this Ryan and he privately but thoroughly condemned the person who had ever rejected Ryan so badly that he couldn't even believe himself desirable any more.

"I'm glad you're here," Eric said softly. Ryan lit up ever so slightly, his eyes sparkling and a hint of red colouring his cheeks. Yes, thought Eric as he enjoyed Ryan's charming reaction, someday he would have to get Ryan to tell him who that was so Eric could loudly make fun of their lack of sense and taste.

"Are you really in such a rush to get me naked?" Ryan teased, playing with one of the buttons keeping Eric's shirt closed, his eyes now mischievous. "Eager to add another notch to your belt so soon?" Eric could have been hurt by the implication he was only about sex but he had put way too much effort into cultivating that particular image, so he just chuckled instead.

"That's a tempting idea," Eric drawled, and it really was as he imagined getting to know every inch of Ryan's skin. "But I'd prefer to take my time, if it's all the same to you. You make it well worth the wait." Ryan looked so pleased that Eric added without thinking "Plus we can always go faster the next time, right?" The note of uncertainty and hope in his voice surprised Eric as much as it did Ryan and again they shared another look of silent communication.

"Yeah," Ryan said lightly but with feeling. "I think I'd like that." He leaned in and kissed Eric with a kiss that started out delicate and ended up deep and searching. As they continued to explore each other's mouths, Eric could feel Ryan's hands moving again on his shirt, fiddling with the buttons in a preoccupied way until they came undone. Eric moaned into Ryan's mouth as he felt Ryan's palm against his bare chest, pushing the cloth aside and letting his fingertips trail along the curves of Eric's abs and upwards. Eric loosened his grip on Ryan's waist to give him more room and began to sneak his hands under Ryan's shirt to caress the angled vertebrae of Ryan's arched back. Once Ryan had pushed Eric's shirt completely off Eric's chest, he broke the kiss in order to lean back slightly and look down at what he had under his hands. The look on Ryan's face, like a kid in a candystore who can't really believe the sign actually says "Free Candy Day", made every gym visit and health-conscious meal Eric had ever had more than worth it. Eric had gotten a lot of approving glances from men and women before, but there was something more to Ryan's gaze, something that made Eric want to pull him close and never let him go.

Then Ryan's swift descent to cover one of Eric's exposed nipples with his hot, sucking tongue drove any contemplative thought out of Eric's head and he groaned loudly, his own hips now the ones instinctively bucking. The unhurried movement of Ryan's lips along his pectorials was enough to drive Eric out of his mind and he gasped Ryan's name when Ryan moved to give his other nipple a similar, languorous treatment. Eric feverishly pulled Ryan's shirt upward and, with a quiet chuckle, Ryan stopped torturing Eric long enough to let the Cuban yank his grey tshirt over his head and toss it aside.

"You're killing me, Wolfe." Eric rasped. Ryan smirked and leaned on one arm again so that he could draw his finger in lazy circles around Eric's navel. Eric made a noise suspiciously like a whimper and pulled Ryan back down to kiss him again, his hands greedily moving along Ryan's smooth skin and the leanness of Ryan's chest. Ryan may not have been as muscled as Eric was, but there wasn't an ounce of fat on him and there was something striking in the way he seemed like nothing more than sinew over the hint of bones. It was like Ryan had distilled himself into a keen blade of willpower and he now exerted that willpower in full force as he and Eric wrestled playfully on Eric's couch until Eric found himself lying prone along the length of his couch with Ryan panting above him. Eric's shirt had somehow fluttered its way to the ground beside the coffee table.

"No ..fair," Eric panted himself. "When you.. touch me, I can't think straight."

"You think that's bad," Ryan retorted with a smile. "When you touch me, I can't breathe."

Ryan's simple confession reminded Eric of every misunderstood reaction Ryan had ever shown. It seemed unreal that a few weeks ago he had thought Ryan hated him, that a few days ago he had thought he'd never get past the wall Ryan kept around himself and that a few hours ago he could not imagine having Ryan in his arms. Now he couldn't imagine Ryan being anywhere else.

Ryan looked a little abashed at his admission, so Eric smiled reassuringly at him and pulled him down so that Ryan's body lay along Eric's own.

"I'm sorry," Eric said, meaning it about everything and hoping Ryan could see that. Ryan looked surprised and then surprised Eric with a bittersweet smile, with the sweet growing stronger as he gazed down at Eric thoughtfully.

"Sorry you're so hot, Delko? I don't think so." Ryan replied a moment later and wrinkled his nose, and Eric knew they'd be all right in the end.

"I'm hot, huh?" Eric smirked. Ryan rolled his eyes and deadpanned in a singsong voice.

"Yes, hot like a bonfire, hotter than the midday sun, hot enough to fry an egg on your chest, hot enough-" Eric silenced Ryan's mockingly poetic litany by fusing their lips together. Ryan seemed willing to give up his teasing as Eric's lips lightly brushed his cheeks and forehead; his green-grey eyes remained closed and his soft breath whispered past Eric's face. Ryan turned blindly but unerringly for Eric's mouth again and Eric thought he'd melt from the tenderness of their kiss. Their hands moved in tandem along bare skin and they teased each other by tugging on the waistbands of their jeans. Soon their touches became less playful and more earnest as each sensation stoked the warm coals of their lust to burn higher and brighter. Eric lost himself blissfully in the clean smell of Ryan's hair, the weight of Ryan on top of him and the throbbing warmth pooling between them. Soft moans and mutterings tumbled off the couch and the leather creaking went from random background noise to an aural reflection of the rhythmic motion of their hips. Eric somehow managed to wedge a hand between them and once again made his appreciation of Ryan's anatomy crystal-clear with firm, unhurried rubbing.

"Please...." Ryan whispered, his own hands trying to make sense of the top button of Eric's pants and failing horribly in his distraction. "Please, please touch me, Eric." Ryan could barely articulate himself more than that and Eric was so turned on by the raw need in Ryan's voice that he nearly lost it right then and there with his jeans still uncomfortably on.

"Only if you return the favour," he mumbled into Ryan's ear, through the haze of his own desire. "And get these damn pants offa me."

Ryan was only too happy to accept his offer and made a visibly concentrated effort to make Eric's pants cooperate with him. Their hands nearly tangled up in their haste, as both men moved to free each other from the near-painful confines of their clothing, sharing nearly-synchronized exclamations as skin met skin. Their jeans had only gotten as far as their knees and their boxers had somehow gone along for the ride but Eric and Ryan lost track of everything else except for the sensation of the sure grip they had on each other. Eyes closed and cheek-to-cheek with their mouths fallen open, they moved with sloppy rhythm as they felt each stroke as a doubled pleasure, as if they were in each other's heads and living in each other's bodies. Each touch brought another in quick reaction and, without being aware of who had done what, Eric and Ryan found themselves lined up in a shared hold, hand on hand. Sweaty and trembling, they paused long enough to open their eyes and memorize the look on each other's faces, then the need singing in their blood took over again. Between the frantic pace they set and the now-shameless cries falling from Ryan's lips, Eric grunted and struggled to breathe as he felt the quicksilver crackling of release move from the soles of his feet to the ends of his blurred fingertips. He could distantly hear Ryan's own breathing catch and hiss, with a sobbing sound deep in his throat that might have been Eric's name, as his hand convulsively clenched around Eric's own. A sticky warmth spread on their bellies and Eric couldn't be sure who had come first, lost in the shivery supernova of his intense climax.

Dazed and spent, they lay collapsed together on Eric's now-silent couch. After a few minutes, the sweat from their exertions started to cool but the balmy Miami evening didn't even bring goosebumps to their skin.

"If we don't clean ourselves up, we are going to end up rather funky." Ryan mumbled sleepily after the room had been quiet for good while, yet he didn't seem inclined to move from his preferred position on Eric's chest.

"Does that bother you?" Eric asked. There was a pause and then Ryan replied.

"Not really." He seemed surprised with himself. "But it might ruin your couch." Eric smiled lazily.

"I think I can live with that."

Ryan made a satisfied noise and then sighed contentedly.

"You know, I only invited you over to check out my scuba gear collection." Eric complained jokingly a minute later.

"I'd better leave then, before I abuse your hospitality any more." Ryan quipped with a quirked eyebrow that Eric could feel against his chest. Both of them chuckled, curled up even closer and stayed that way for a long time.

 

-fin-  
15.4.06


End file.
